Its been a long time since I wrote a blog. Today i have so many mixed thoughts. As We are coming up on halinas first birthday in a couple of months, I reflect over What have I done this past year. I find myself asking the question on several choices that I have made, "Was it worth it?" Did I do the right thing. Some it seems like the choice I choose wouldn't have mattered, it was merely a choice others, I feel strongly that I have been being guided to do. SO then my next question is what makes a life of value? What makes one persons actions have so much more impact than anothers? If all life is valued the same in Gods eyes then how can we as the human race even put a degree of value on others lives. And why is that we want to know more about the lives of those that are constantly in turmoil and constantly have negativity surrounding them rather than those that are constistanly optomistic and happy no matter what trials are thrown their way?
I have come to two conclusions. First, we all have a tendancy to judge our insides by others outsides. We look at the surface and see what seems to be a perfect of desirable life and want that. In wanting that life style we forget all the many things that we have been blessed with. In forgetting our blessings we focus more on the trials at present than on what will happen when we overcome those trials.
second, we are all to some extent unsure of what we want out of life. Yes we may have some of the big things nailed down like we want financial security, a family, and education ect... but it's the little things that get us to those big things that we find ourselves confused in.
So now my question is this? How do we over come the day to day confusion ? I know that we can pray and search and find answers that way but somethings don't we just have to figure out on our own?