I've got the blues

So I think this is just part of the emotional map of being pregnant. I feel like I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place:) I am a very project oriented person. I like to have tasks at hand and I like to work on them and accomplish them. Then I like to relish the accomplishment for a short time and then move on to the next task or project. Which for those of you that know me, can now understand why I lack so much in the patience department.
I hear all the time that the las four weeks of pregnancy are the hardest. Right now I would have to agree. Even the first several where the morning sickness is unbearable, these past 2 1/2 weeks have been full of such bitter sweet emotions. I feel like I am ready to have our little girl. I want to so badly to just hold her,dress her, count all of her fingers and toes, see her smile and to know what she looks like. I want so badly to see Brett hold her in his arms. Hes going to be such a great dad. I want to be done being pregnant. The swollen ankles and feet, not being able to see my feet, the constant weight gain, it all wears on a persons self esteem. I want to feel normal again. I want to be able to drive my car and get close enough to reach the pedals with out feeling like my belly is going to get squished by the steering wheel. I want to be able to make it an hour with out feeling like I have to go to the bathroom.
I want to be able to get comfortable when I sleep.
At the same time, this is my first baby and I have never loved to feel her move like i have these past few weeks.I love knowing that she is mine and bretts. I love the special feeling I get knowing that this child I am carrying has just come from Heaven, it's like the first snow of the year, you just know that it's so clean and pure and most likely the purest thing that you will ever know in your life.
It is for that reason, I wander if I am really ready for this. Physically I feel so ready to be a mom, mentally and emotionally I know if I will ever be ready. It's humbled me a great deal. Its so true that you don't know what it's like to be a parent until you are one. No matter how closely you live or are involved in your neices and nephews lives. The responsibility of everything ways on you heavily. I Know the rewards will be great. I know it's to late now for what ifs , but what if I fail at being a parent, what if there is something that I didn't teach her, didn't teach her right?
I need a hobby other than my husband and my baby. Which is another reason why I am looking forward to delivering, I want to start my fitness training again and school:)
On a lighter note, Brett is doing so well in school! I am so proud of him. These classes have been very time consuming and he has kept up well with all other demands in his life including work, the birthing classes, the house, all doctors appointments, his hobbies, his church callings and being a wonderful husband. I truly have been blessed to have this good man for all time! I am so excited to see him be a dad.

Da Da Da HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Yesterday was my 20th birthday! Brett can no longer call me a teenager. It was a great day. We slept in, finished our movie, Went to breakfast, did some shopping, came home took a nap, did some more shopping and then went to dinner. Brett took me to wolf lodge where we ordered the sweetheart steak... Brett dimolished it. 34 oz of steak, steak fries, salad and crackers and cake. All on top of two sprites! I have to say I am pretty impressed with him. We then came home and brett gave me the best foot massage I have ever had. It was truly a labor of love. Feet are gross! Any way I will have to post some more pictures later because these ones of me are just not very good:( Definately counting down to D Day! Also Leica loves her raw hide chew toys. She is getting very good at jumping up and catching things. She is also enjoying being a house/outside dog.

On the count down

Time flies by so quickly. We have a little over 6 weeks until the anticipated due date of our little girl. I am rapidly getting bigger and bigger. I am grateful though that I will not be pregnant through the dreaded summer months:) Its already too hot for me some days. Brett and I are currently going a natural child birth class; the bradley class and we love it. It's so informative. We just got back from a quick little camping trip on monday and we are heading off again to camp on sunday evening! I love camping:) Smores are my favorite part, especially right now. Brett starts school June 1st. We are both very excited for that!Here are some pictures!

April Showers!!!!

So I have been asked several times about my belly and how big it is getting so I decided to put another picture,more recent, on my blog. We are just getting ready to go down to utah. We will be leaving tomorrow and spending Easter weekend down there. I am very excited and Brett is too. The weather has been so nice up here and it's usually a little bit warmer there! My sister-in-law, Brandi,is throwing me a baby shower. I am really excited about that and the Egg hunt that we will be doing!Leica is still healing up from getting fixed last wednesday and every body will be happy when she can be her goofy self.

March Mazes

So I can admit , I am not really that great at this whole blogging thing. I really just do it when I am told to. :) At any rate nothing exciting has happened, we are just trying to get over the fact that it continues to snow. Brett finished building some shelving in our garage. So now, we can have an oraganized garage and we wont have to find our way through the maze of dog toys, bikes, paint , hunting nic-naks, ect. Brett says he feels better knowing that as I start moving his toys into the garage , they will have a safe home. We really aren't moving anything out for the baby just yet. We had another doctors appointment today. He said everything is perfect! No names set in stone yet so if you have any ideas we might be open to suggestions.

Bloomin Belly

As requested I have put some pictures of the pregnant belly. If you didn't already know we are having a little girl! We are both very excited. Brett hurt his knee this past weekend but is doing much better.

Today is our first blog. We don't really have to much going on. We are definately enjoying the snow! We finally got some! We just came back from our trip that we took to Canada to celebrate our 1 year anniversary! It's crazy how fast a year goes by. We still feel like we have only been married a couple of weeks. We are very excited for christmas this year! We have our christmas tree up and our stockings hung! Leica and Izzy even have their own little dog stockings. I made a special spiced hot cocoa mix that we have been enjoying as a night time treat. This is going to be our first christmas in our new home and it's exciting !
Life just keeps getting busier. Both of us will be going to school in January. Brett is going for a degree in Business Management and I will just be getting some general studies out of the way until i can decide what I truly want to do. I still think that I would really like to be a wedding planner of some sort:)
Being pregnant brings on a whole other set of challenges into the equations. It's exciting to get ready to be parents, scary at the same time though.
Brett is still working at Cabelas in Optics. I am still working at Mountain West Bank.